Footballs for Algernon

Daniel Keyes wrote a story in 1959 called "Flowers For Algernon".  It was the story of Charlie Gordon, a person of limited intelligence who, when given experimental brain surgery, tripled his intelligence to that of a genius.  (Algernon was the mouse on which the surgery was first performed.)  Sadly, the operation's effects were short-lived, and both Charlie and Algernon quickly regressed.

Something very similar is on the verge of happening to the TCU Horned Frogs' football team.

For those of you who didn't watch the game Wednesday night, the score on the sidebar over there should tell you everything you need to know.  TCU got its @$$ handed them on a platter.

Again.

Those of you who are not  keeping count should know that this is the fifth time this year  that the Froggies have given up 40 or more, the second time of 50 or more.  That's after having done so only four times in the previous five years combined.  Four times in this program's previous 60-some-odd games, and now they've had 40-plus hung on them in five of their last eight.

It's hard as Hell™ for me to have to admit this, but my stepson was right about these guys:  They flat-out suck.

The offense can't get out of its own way for all the illegal-formation and false-start penalties, to say nothing of holding calls that kill drive after drive after drive.  Then the offensive line (and, by Cthulu, is it ever  offensive) backs off and allows whichever quarterback is back there to get positively killed.  Then there are the drops - dropped pass after dropped pass after dropped pass, if  said QB can even get the ball there.

And that's just the offense.  The defense...well, let's put it this way:  Remember when I called TCU's secondary "Swiss cheese"?  They're dead last  in NCAA Division I at 304 passing yards given up per game, and that was before  Louisville torched them for 374 yards.  By Maitreya, I could bring back the old Arlington Heights secondary from 1981, all over 40 now, and not give up that much.

Is it any wonder  this pathetic group gave up 55 to Louisville?  Anyone wanna speculate on what the nation's #1 high-school team, Southlake (TX) Carroll, would hang on 'em?

Now, before I go into my rant on which excuse-for-a-Division-I-football-coach is responsible for this, I want to point out something to you:  Gary Patterson is in his fourth year as the head coach of this football program.

"Okay, Spats - so what?", you're asking.

What it means is this:  All the kids recruited by his predecessor  - yes, sportz fanz, I'm talking about Dennis "The Mercenary" Franchione - all those kids are gone.  Which means all that this program has left...are kids recruited by...yes, you guessed it - Gary Patterson.  In other words, he can not only not coach...he can't recruit, either.

Now  what does that suggest to you?

Here's what it suggests to me:  4-7 is looking more and more likely with each passing down.  Southern P*ss is going to kill them (and for them to do that on the road, where they're generally regarded as awful, should tell you something), and the Tulane game is no longer a gimme, even with quarterback J.P. Losman having gone to the Buffalo Bills.

4 and 7 with the best Patterson has managed to recruit.  How bad is it going to be next year?  3-8?  2-9?  Is this team going to be too painful to watch over the next few years, after seven years of the best football the program's ever seen?

Now  do you know why I made the "Flowers For Algernon" analogy?

Back in the '70s, TCU's program was headed on the upswing with new uniforms, a new outlook and a new coach, Jim Pittman (who had come over from Tulane, oddly enough).  But Pittman died of a heart attack during a win over Baylor, and it took the program over a decade to recover, winning maybe 10 games total  during the 70s.  At the rate of decline we're seeing right now, it won't be too long before the TCU football program is right back where it started.

Kinda like Charlie and Algernon.

Patterson has to go.  He's proven he can't recruit, and he's proven he can't coach what he recruits.  He built whatever reputation he has on the backs of his predecessor's players, and only now is he being exposed for what, in my opinion, he really is:  a talentless hack.

Case in point:  Before the Louisville game, Patterson - and I swear, I'm not making this up - called for his team to rise to the occasion, saying...and I quote:

"We have to find a way to have a larger surge and match [the opponent's] emotion.  If you don't, it's hard to beat good teams.  I think we're giving a good effort right now, but what we don't have right now is a lot of violence."

Not a lot of violence?!?!?!  Football, in case you hadn't figured it out, Mr. Patterson, is a violent sport!!!  Did you honestly  think you were going to get the job done with f'ing tea and crumpets?!?!?!?!?!

Athletic director Eric Hyman, if you want TCU taken anywhere near  seriously as a nationally-respected football program, your next move must  be to fire Gary Patterson.  Immediately, if not sooner.

Otherwise, those few folks who have graciously given you money to attend your football games in that dilapidated concrete monstrosity you call a football stadium, will slowly but surely realize that you've been conning them, and they'll stop giving you their hard-earned money.  You're already whining during every home game about how you supposedly realize that we have a choice about where to spend that money, and how you're supposedly grateful that we spend it on you.

Prove it.  Give us a football program that we can brag about to our friends.  Give us a coach that can get us excited once again about that program.

Do it soon, before you're once again playing to crowds of 10,000 like you were in the bad-old-days of the 70s.