When Mikey Moore-on hates John-Boy, the Dems have a problem

It's bad enough that the Swift Boat Vets have come out against the Qetchup Qing.  It's not a good thing that the one ace on which he was banking - the bogus Bush National Guard docs - has blown up in his face, metaphorically speaking.

But John-Boy, this  is gonna leave a mark:  Even Michael Moore thinks you're a turd.

Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying! Do I have to come there and personally calm you down?

How you gonna do that, fat boy?  Sit on 'em?

Stop with all the defeatism, OK? Bush IS a goner -- IF we all just quit our whining and bellyaching and stop shaking like a bunch of nervous ninnies.

You haven't looked at the polls much later, have you Avoirdupois A$$? (snicker)

Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans are laughing at us.

Mm-hm.  Yes, we are. (guffaw)

Do you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!" Hell no. It's never over for them until the last ballot is shredded. They are never finished -- they just keeping moving forward like sharks that never sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking

That's right lardbutt.  We are the Borg.  We are relentless.   And resistance is  futile, heh heh heh...

lying.

No, Mikey, actually we leave that  side of the street to you and your fellow leftist f**ks.  Why would we need to lie about you when the truth works soooooo much better?

Mheh.

Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican,"

Actually, blubber boy, it's a little bit larger than that.

yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a minority?

Well, you see, Mikey Fatf**k, there's this little thing called the Electoral Collage, and...

It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for breakfast

I'm on Atkins, but even I  don't think I could stand eating that  much fat.

and then spend the rest of the day wreaking havoc on the planet.

Get a grip, Mikey.  We could turn every SUV on the planet loose, and the lot of 'em wouldn't do as much damage to the ozone layer as one of your farts.

Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets a bounce after his convention and you would have thought the Germans had run through Poland again. The Bushies are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they caught Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they found the frequency in Dan Rather and ran with it. Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!"

No, it is not.

Uh, yes it is, Fat Boy. (snicker)

If I hear one more person tell me how lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a Democrat, for heavens sake!

Out of the mouths of Babes - humongous though it might be.  Ketchup-@$$, if I were you, I'd fold my tent now, mheheh

That party is so pathetic, they even lose the elections they win!

Annnnnnnd Bush trailed in Florida exactly when,  Bertha Butt?

Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better, smarter, kick-ass campaign.

Oh, of course, O Fat Fart from Flint.  And all you Leftists have ever  really needed to do was just get your message out.   Just make sure people heard it.

Newsflash, fat @$$:  Your message is getting out.  That's why people are voting for your opponents.

Of course we would have smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty bastards down.

How do you figure that, lard-@$$?  You don't even have the 'nads to go face-to-face with them.

Shoot, you don't even have the testicular fortitude to...no, wait, I promised I wouldn't do that here any more.

But WE are not running for president -- Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we have.

Yeah, go take your double-digit whipping like the pansy-a$$es you are... (snicker)

Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac!

No, Dunlop, that's not exactly true.  TANSTAAFL, remember?

Did you see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming, "Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they were happy.

Well, at least not until they were told about the taxes, anyway.

The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well, I can't help you. I had a Pontiac once and it lasted a good year. And it was a VERY good year.

Next time, try some industrial-strength shocks.  And in your case, double up on 'em - two per wheel.  That'd be a good start.

My friends, it is time for a reality check.

Here's your reality check, Porky:  Your boy's going down in November, and then  what's your next crockumentary gonna be about, eh?

As for you, Qetchup Qing - might be a good time for you to start thinking about paying back that half of the mortgage you took out to run... (snicker)