(ka-strummmm) "I've been cheeeeea-teddddd...beeeeeeen mis-treeeeea-teddddddd..."

"...whennnnnn will Iiiiiii-iiiiiii...be lurrrrrrrvvvved?"

Elton John is definitely  not going to like this. (snicker)

Obsolete bubblegum-pop diva Linda Ronstadt...


MERLIN:  She's still around?

OZY:  Who'sh Lynnee Ronshnot?

LSI:  Dammit, Merlin, you let him get into the Romulan ale again?!?!?!

MERLIN:  Sorry, boss.


...pulled a Dintzy Bints of sorts last night in Las Vegas, dedicating part of her performance to the Flint Fop, Mikey Fatfuck, and criticizing the Bush Administration.

Near the close of her performance, Ronstadt dedicated the Eagles hit "Desperado" to Moore, producer of "Fahrenheit 9/11," and the room erupted into equal parts boos and cheers.

She said Moore "is someone who cares about this country deeply and is trying to help."

OZY:  Hel(urp)p what?  Bringngng thish country to itsh knees?

MERLIN:  Well, at least she had the gonads to say it here.

LSI:  Gonads, maybe, but not brains.  Obsolete has-beens who do the rubber-chicken lounge circuit don't really want to piss off the six or seven people left who listem to them.

Ronstadt has been making the dedication at each of her engagements since she began a national tour earlier this summer, but it has never sparked such a reaction.

MERLIN:  How much of her "tour" has been in red states?

OZY:  Well, is it Peoria'sh fault if they cancelled the show for lack of sales???

Hundreds of angry fans streamed from the theater as Ronstadt sang. Some of them reportedly defaced posters of her in the lobby, writing comments and tossing drinks on her pictures.

(Aladdin President Bill) Timmins told Las Vegas Sun gossip columnist Timothy McDarrah: "We live in a city where people come from all over the world to be entertained. We hired Ms. Ronstadt as an entertainer, not as a political activist.

OZY:  I think at thish point, I'd  call her a hashhh-been...

MERLIN:  Mhehhhehheheh...

LSI:  Now, now, boys... (chuckle)

Timmins, who was among the almost 5,000 fans in the audience at the Aladdin Theatre for the Performing Arts, had Ronstadt escorted to her tour bus and her belongings from her hotel room sent to her. Timmins also sent word to Ronstadt that she was no longer welcome at the property for future performances, according Aladdin spokeswoman Tyri Squyres.

"The hotel's policy is that we hired her to entertain guests, not to express her political views," Squyres said.

MERLIN:  She didn't do either very well, did she?

LSI:  I guess they could rename it the Linda Ronstadt FUBAR tour...

Timmins said she was wrong to bring her politics to the stage.

"Our first and only priority is the enjoyment of our customers," he said. "I made the decision to ask Miss Ronstadt to leave the hotel. A situation like that can easily turn ugly and I didn't want anything more to come out of it. There were a lot of angry people there after she started talking.

OZY:  Wow.  A CEO with balls.  Whoda thunk it...?

MERLIN:  Well, probably not for long.  Aladdin's on the verge of bankruptcy; he may not last.

OZY:  It's a shhhafe bet Lynny won't (hic) hire him to be her (urp!) tour manager...

LSI:  Awright, Ozy, dump the rest of that ale.

OZY:  Aw, mannnnn...

Her performance was uninspired and generally flat. She lacked stage presence, doing little more than sleepwalk from song to song.

The fiasco at the end was the most exciting part of the show.

MERLIN:  Well, it's a fact:  People spread joy everywhere they go.

LSI:  Yeah, but some do it by leaving...

OZY:  Mhehhhehheh...