Revelation 22:18-19
I have always despised the translation of Scripture known as "The Living Bible".
In the first place, somebody tell me what part of the Bible is dead? Secondly, the name "Living Bible", at least in the foreword, tells us that it's a translation of the Bible "for modern times". Sorry, but I have no problem reading and comprehending the King James version of the Word - and even so, the New American Standard, New King James and New International Versions are just fine, thank you.
But the 'tards who came up with "The Living Bible" must be breathing a sigh of relief now, because what with this new version of Scripture, theirs is now no longer the most riduculous translation around:
A brand-new translation of the Bible – praised by Britain's archbishop of Canterbury, that nation’s senior Christian voice – flatly contradicts traditional core Christian beliefs on sex and morality.
And anyone should be surprised by this...how? I mean, they are a bit randier with their morals across the pond than we right-thinkers are over here.
Titled "Good as New," the new Bible is translated by former Baptist minister John Henson for the "One" organization, to produce what the group calls a "new, fresh and adventurous" translation of the Christian scriptures.
Are you guys absolutely sure that wasn't John Shelby Spong in drag??? (Wait - John Shelby Spong's already in drag, strike that...)
The 104th archbishop of Canterbury, Dr. Rowan Williams – leader of the Church of England – describes it is a book of "extraordinary power," but admitted many would be startled by its content.
"Instead of condemning fornicators, adulterers and 'abusers of themselves with mankind'," says Ruth Gledhill, the London Times religious affairs correspondent, "the new version of his first letter to Corinth has St. Paul advising Christians not to go without sex for too long in case they get 'frustrated.'"
Absolutely, "Doctor" Williams. But I suspect we'll be startled because maybe...just maybe...THE BIBLE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO CONDONE THOSE THINGS, YOU DUMB FUCK!!!
"The new version, which Dr. Williams says he hopes will spread 'in epidemic profusion through religious and irreligious alike'
Yeah, Doctor Dumbass, that's what they were saying about the new "gender-neutral" Bible - but I don't see people beating down the door to get themselves a copy, do you?
(crickets chirping) Yeah, I thought so...
turns St. Paul's strictures against fornication on their head," adds the Times.
I should say so, especially since God expressly forbids it and these asshats are saying that He thinks it's okay.
The One organization that produced the new Bible translation is dedicated to "establish[ing] peace, justice, dignity and rights for all."
Yeah, why do any of that boring stuff like serving the Lord their God with all their heart & soul and all that? Not when they can "establish peace, justice, dignity and rights for all".
That is to say, all who buy into their cockamamie liberal-assed bullshit. No conservatives need apply - and Maitreya forbid we have any fundamentalist Southern Baptists in this...
It is also focused on "sustainable use of the earth's resources," challenging "oppression, injustice, exclusion and discrimination" as well as accepting "one another, valuing their diversity and experience."
"Sustainable use of the earth's resources"? Check.
"Oppression"? Check.
"Injustice"? Check.
"Exclusion"? Check.
"Discrimination"? Check.
"Diversity"? Check. All the liberal code words present and accounted for.
According to Ekklesia, a London-based "theological think tank" that supports the "One" translation:
The translation is pioneering in its accessibility,
So the goal of these dumb shits is not to render God's Holy Word accurately, but to "pioneer" in its "accessibility" - WTF that means.
Oh, but Denizens - that's not the best part. Keep reading...
and changes the original Greek and Hebrew nomenclature into modern nicknames. St. Peter becomes "Rocky," Mary Magdalene becomes "Maggie," Aaron becomes "Ron," Andronicus becomes "Andy" and Barabbas becomes "Barry."
So help me Cthulu, if they rendered St. Stephen as "Skip", I'll puke.
Can you just imagine if the "Rocky" series had been filmed during Biblical times? "Peter", "Peter II", "Peter III"...
In keeping with the times, translator Henson deftly translates "demon possession" as "mental illness"
So, using his own standard, we can say that Henson's demon-possessed?
and "Son of Man," the expression Jesus frequently used to describe himself, as "the Complete Person."
Note the usage of "Complete Person". Note that there's absolutely no mention of the fact that he's fully God, as well as fully man.
Three guesses as to whom these pisspots were trying to please - and the first two don't count.
In addition, parables are rendered as "riddles," baptize is to "dip" in water
Guess I should be thankful we didn't have anyone from East Texas on that translating committee - else "baptism" might have come out as "to dunk".
"Hey thar, John th' Suth'rn Baptist, he done dunked the Low-errrrrd!!!"
salvation becomes "healing" or "completeness" and Heaven becomes "the world beyond time and space."
Oh, Hell™ - you could get that just by engaging the warp drive on my Pegasus Fleet™. (grin)
Here's how Williams, the top Anglican archbishop, describes the new Bible: "Instead of being taken into a specialized religious frame of reference – as happens even with the most conscientious of formal modern translations – and being given a gospel addressed to specialized concerns … we have here a vehicle for thinking and worshipping that is fully earthed, recognizably about our humanity."
Translation: designed to please and worship men, rather than God.
In addition, notes Ekklesia, the archbishop praises Henson's translation for eliminating "the stale, the technical, the unconsciously exclusive words and policies" in other translations.
You know - the references to God as "He" or "Him"; the passages that say that all have sinned and come short of His glory; the passages that state that we need to be born again of Christ, that sort of thing. Silly little Judeo-Christian words just get in the way of their agenda, so poof!!! away they go.
Simple, really.
Here, according to the London Times, are a few sample passages:
I'll let you go through those, if you're so inclined.
You may be wondering why I titled this post like I did.
Well, it's like this: The real translation of God's Word shows this for those passages: "For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book. And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
If I were the Archbishop of Canterbury, or any of those other fools, I wouldn't be so quick to give my blessing to this translation. That is, unless he really thinks that those whom he's trying so desperately to please - men - are going to be his ticket into Heaven.
From my vantage point, that's not a bet I'd take.
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