Slappin' to the oldies...Ew.

And just when I thought I'd not have anything to blog about today.

One of His Rudeness' favorite (???) whipping boys from his past is back in the news.  Richard Simmons - "Rithard Thimmons" for those of you who were either Spatulaites or Spatulaettes (grin) - was buthted...er, busted  at the Phoenix airport yesterday for starting a fight.

Well...mithdemeanor ath...misdemeanor assault, actually.  You see...he slapped someone:

Exercise guru Richard Simmons allegedly slapped a man who made a sarcastic remark about one of his videos, police said.

OZYMANDIAS MCCOOL:  Touchy little guy, ain't he?

MERLIN:  Well, you  try that "Deal-a-Meal" diet of his and see how peaches-and-cream your  disposition becomes.

OZYMANDIAS:  I thought you couldn't have peaches and cream on that diet...?

LSIK&T:  Guys...

Simmons, known for his "Sweatin' to the Oldies" series of exercise videos set to songs from the 1950s and 60s, was cited for misdemeanor assault.

MERLIN:  That  qualified as an assault???

OZYMANDIAS:  I think I'd've been more afraid of Spike Dudley.

MERLIN:  He'd've certainly packed more of a punch...

A fellow passenger recognized Simmons on Wednesday night at Phoenix's Sky Harbor International Airport as he was waiting for a flight to Los Angeles, police said.

The man "made the off-hand comment, 'Hey everybody. It's Richard Simmons.  Let's drop our bags and rock to the '50s,"' said Phoenix police Sgt. Tom Osborne.  "Mr. Simmons took exception to it and walked over to the other passenger and apparently slapped him in the face."

OZYMANDIAS:  One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock...

LSIK&T:  (punch!!!)  Quit that!

OZYMANDIAS:  Ow.

MERLIN:  Well, that settles who'd win in a fight...(slap!!!)  OWWWW!!!

The passenger, whose identity wasn't immediately available, wasn't injured but told police that he intended to file charges against Simmons, 55.

MERLIN:  Just file charges?!?!?  Wuss!!!

OZYMANDIAS:  Pansy!!!

LSIK&T:  Good Gawd, son, be a man and kick his ass!!!  Dayyy-ummmmm!!!

Osborne said Simmons was cited for misdemeanor assault and permitted to board his flight.

LSIK&T:  You think maybe Vince McMahon would sign him up?

MERLIN:  Hey, put him in a program with Stone Cold...

OZYMANDIAS:  And that's the bottom line...