"I went to a strip show, and a football game broke out..."

As luck (???) would have it, when Janet Jackson, aka the Nasty Girl, popped a throwing-star-adorned tit last night...courtesy of Britney Spears' ex, sleazeball Justin Timberlake...I was in the back trying to upgrade a PC.

(sigh) Timing.  Story of my life.

All kidding aside, let's look at a couple of things.

No, not Janet's tits, okay?  Sheesh.

First of all, don't buy CBS' lame-assed distancing from the stunt, as we learn from Drudge:


Top CBS executives approved a musical skit where Janet Jackson would expose her breast during the MTV-produced Super Bowl half-time concert, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.

"The decision to go forward went to the very top of the network," a well-placed source explained from New York.


Now, Drudge has been accused of sensationalism in the past, but I'm inclined to take his word for it here.  In a press release (since taken down - wonder why?), MTV teases "Janet's Shocking Moments" during the halftime show.

And sleazeball Timberlake is quoted as promising, "I'll get you naked by the end of this song", shortly before taking the deliberate action of reaching across Miss Nasty's bodice, grabbing a tab, and pulling.  Denizens, that was not an accident.  This scuzball meant  to do what he did.

Now  he's apologizing for what he's calling a "wardrobe malfunction".  Get that.  A "wardrobe malfunction".

There's a malfunction, all right - but it ain't in the Nasty Girl's bodice, it's inside Sleazeball Timberlake's thick-assed head.  There were families  watching - yes, Virginia, complete with children,  some with ages in the single-digit range  - and this asswipe has the balls to pull a stunt like that.

I note that Miss Nasty has an album coming up, and I've heard it said that all this does is give her publicity for that.  Well, I also note, for the record, that her lunatic brother is headed for trial later on this year, and I can't help wondering if she didn't stage this to try and get media attention off him for a little bit.

As for the sleazeball, he had his 15 minutes of fame as Britney's did-they-or-didn't-they toy dick, and his career was already on the long slide down, so I have a pretty good idea why he  took part.

Now, I don't know what can be done with these two pervs, short of both of their record companies cutting ties with them and ruining their careers.

But I know what I'd like the NFL to do.

If I were that dickless coward commissioner Paul Tagliabue, I'd place a call to Leslie Moonves, CBS head honcho, like yesterday.  And I'd tell Moonbat:  "Les, ol' buddy, ol' pal, listen up.  If that bastard who hired MTV to produce your halftime show yesterday isn't fired by close-of-business today, then you've broadcast your last NFL game while I'm commissioner.  I will pull your contract with us so fast it'll make your head spin.  Sue us all you want, if you think you can pull it off, but we're not putting up with that - not from you, not from anyone.  Capíce???"

None of that will happen, of course - it would, as I've already stated, require testicular fortitude, something ol' Tags lacks - but it's what should  happen.  Along with Sleazeball Timberlake and every single member of Joe Jackson's family rounded up and shipped off to some remote island somewhere.

Somewhere where we wouldn't have to put up with them.


UPDATE:  Oh, joy.  Michael Powell and the FCC are going to investigate.  Same bastard and child of Colon Bowel who let Bono get off the hook for using the word "fuck" on NBC.

Now  we'll get to the bottom of this... (rolling eyes)


UPDATE the 2nd:  That link now shows you a story saying that Little Miss Nasty is now taking responsibility for the episode, calling it a "last-minute stunt that went awry".

Uh-huh. YeahRight™.

Bullshit.

Pansies given another gift

After watching yesterday's Super Bowl, I am absolutely convinced of one thing:  The New England Pansyasses cannot - Can...Not!!! - win a big game without the help of the officiating.

We all saw two weeks ago how the Pansyass defense was allowed to mug Indianapolis receivers without so much as a zebra reaching into his back pocket, despite one play where a New England defender launched himself head-first into the facemask of receiver Reggie Wane, in violation of NFL rules.  And we've all heard by now how that dickless coward Paul Tagliabue praised the Pansyass defense, saying that the Pansyasses committed no penalties with their play.

Yesterday's Super Bowl proved beyond doubt that when New England plays in a Super Bowl, it brings along its own officials.

Case in point:  Two calls yesterday sustained drives which led directly to Pansy touchdowns.

People's Exhibit Number One:  On fourth-and-two-inches at the Carolina 37½-yard line, Pansy running back Antowain Smith took a pitch, came right, and ran into a wall.

His left elbow achieved the necessary yardage for the first down.  The only problem was...the ball was nestled in his right  elbow, about a foot-and-a-half back.  Replays clearly - clearly - showed he had been stopped short.

Not only did Ed Hocueli's excuse-for-a-crew give him the first down, they rejected the Carolina challenge which clearly  showed the ball to be short.

Instead of being forced to turn the ball over on downs, the Pansyasses scored on the drive.

People's Exhibit Number Two:  In the fourth quarter, third-and-goal from the four, Tom Brady threw an incomplete pass out in the left flat.  Field goal time.

But wait!!!  Linbacker Greg Favors was called for defensive holding, giving the Pansyasses first and goal from the 3, from where they scored on the very next play.

Just one problem:  Favors didn't hold the receiver - in fact, if anything...the receiver pushed off of Favors in an attempt to get open.

That one play, in itself, was worth four points to the Panthers.  Even so, those two plays cost the Panthers 11 points.

The final margin was three.  You do the math.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  Eleven-on-eighteen is not a fair fight.  The New England Pansy-asses are nowhere even close  to being the best team in the NFL, and last night serves to prove it.