Oh, that'll  help him

It's becoming clearer & clearer with each passing day that Michael Jackson is in sore need of a refresher course in How to Win Friends and Influence People.

He bleaches his skin to the point that he's whiter than the average Caucasian - in fact, he looks damn near like a Borg with hair. He's had so many nose jobs that the one he has now  is about to fall off. Literally.

He gets permanent eyeliner and lipstick put on him to the point where he now looks like a zombified clone of Diana Ross. Not that there's anything upstanding about that, mind you.

He sleeps in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber. He purchases the rights to the Beatles collection. He holds his son over a balcony, damned near dropping him to his death in the process. And he gets accused - not once, but twice - of child molestation.

But now, it looks as if the Gloved Wonder (?) has gone and done it.

He's about to become a card-carrying member of the Religion of Peace™:


Last night, on the eve of child-molestation charges being filed against him, Michael Jackson converted to Islam, reports the New York Post.

According to the paper, the pop star became a member of Louis Farrakhan's Nation of Islam, and the conversion came with a shakeup in his personal staff.


Wonder how many staff members that makes now? Could it be...19? (snicker)


The Post says Jermaine Jackson, one of Michael's brothers became a Muslim in 1989 and has been trying to win favor with his eccentric sibling. Jermaine reportedly brought Leonard F. Muhammad, Farrakhan's chief of staff into Michael's inner circle as a "bodyguard."


Probably to shoot any white people who try to prosecute him, y'think?


Jackson reportedly is a former Jehovah's Witness and has had an interest in Judaism.


I can hear the High Priest of Judiasm calling Calypso Louie now: "You take him. No, no, no, that's quite alright, my little meshuggah - please, I insist..."

Mhehhehhehheh...