From the "Oldie but Goodie" department...
...here's something that ought to get you to thinking. (Credit to Dave Hoffman, formerly one of the moderators on the old NewsMax forum):
"I (meaning me only, I don't want you to if you don't want to, because I certainly don't want to trample on your beliefs or invade your personal space) pledge (or swear, or affirm, or agree in principle, or think about) allegiance to (or membership in, or being a part of, or sometimes agreeing with) the flag (uh, the Stars and Stripes, or the Stars and Bars, or the Rainbow Coalition, or the Mexican flag, or the UN flag, whatever flag, banner, or pennant that's currently politically correct for where I am, not to mean that other flags AREN'T politically correct, but I'm trying not to offend anyone here) of the United States (except for those states that are too conservative or liberal or socialist or communist or Yankee or Rebel or what ever, they don't count) of America (including North America, Central America, and South America, so none of the illegal aliens or visitors from Canada here for medical treatment feel left out) and to the Republic (unless you'd rather I said democracy, which wouldn't be right, but Republic might offend some democrats that might think I'm talking about republicans only) for which it stands (unless you think it stands for something else, or think it doesn't stand for much of anything, in which case I apologize) one nation (well, not really one, cause you have to consider all those folks from other nations, or whose heritage comes from other nations, or who just happen to like other nations, or who like the United Nations, or who live here but just don't like this nation, so it's kinda like, oh, whatever) under God (or Allah, or Buddha, or Jehovah, or Odin, or whoever, or atheism, or the Great Pink Unicorn, or that pretty girl that lives down the street, {no, that would be Goddess, or wait, Goddess isn't politically correct, it's sexism so I guess God would fit in her case too}) indivisible (well, actually, that's not true, we're divisible along color lines, sex, age, health, wealth, political belief, and lots of other things) with liberty (not to offend conservatives, this doesn't mean liberal and it depends on how you DEFINE liberty anyway, some people define it different from others) and justice (well, justice according to the law, or the Constitution, or according to what you think justice is, which might not be the same as what I think justice is, but what the heck, we're all in the same boat except when we're not) for all. (well, not for EVERYBODY, especially if they don't think like I do, not to mean that they're WRONG to think differently, just that 'ALL' might mean different things to different people."
No thanks, Ninth Circuit - I like the one we have...